Of course, sleeping with numerous men while dating is pretty normal, but women rarely talk or write about it. Why? Because there’s a massive stigma around it.
We still expect women to only have sex for love, and if it’s anything outside of that, it makes us uncomfortable.
When I first began dating, I was always monogamous to one person, no matter how casual the relationship was. Even when they made it quite clear that they were sleeping with other people.
Eventually, I got into the pattern of dating multiple people at once because it meant I didn’t get super invested in someone after one date.
I was less likely to spend all day waiting for a text back if I was texting multiple people, and it helped me keep a clear head about the whole thing.
Introducing Lowbrow: Zac Efron & The 2012 Condom Incident
It’s good to know there’s plenty of fish in the sea while dating; otherwise, you could end up settling for a guy who feels threatened by your vibrator.
But I still found the idea of sealing the deal with someone while still dating someone else weird. I suppose it made me feel like I was cheating because I grew up on a diet of romantic comedies and romance novels.
Interestingly, despite the fact the men I was dating weren’t behaving like male leads – I mean, some of them even pretended to be allergic to condoms – I still felt this pressure to act like a female lead in a romantic comedy.
Meanwhile, I was waiting for an awkward text message to end my situationship, so I could consider sleeping with someone I was starting to like.
If I’m being frank, I was worried that if I pursued multiple sexual partners, it would make me a slut.
Logically, I realise how silly that is, and I actually believe the word ‘slut’ is a social construct. Men use that word to stop women from exploring their sexuality and to shame them.
What’s Your Number?
It wasn’t the girl with the most sexual experience getting the guy at the end of the film, was it? Continue reading ““I thought it made me unlovable.” Here’s how I fixed my relationship with casual sex”